As August comes to an end and I look forward toward September I feel both extreme fear and anxiety, as well as a sense of elation, and a whole lot of gratitude. September marks a year since I was diagnosed with Glioblastoma and given a deadline, which only increased my will to live happily, find joy and love, seek the company of good people while releasing the toxic,and find gratitude in the most unusual circumstances.
Every day from here forward is a gift that was not promised. I will cherish every moment, whether beautiful or terrible.
Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.
~ Frederick Buechner
It’s been a year of letting go — Letting go of the life I once knew while embracing a new normal, seeing people leave my life while embracing strong new friends who are able to hold space and just BE with me. I have had to change the way I do many things and learn to adapt, sell my home and my car, let go of freedom, my hair (that an essay all its own), and having my girls move out.I’m just going to do a quick mention of Rona and how isolating she left many of us, and move on.
I will spend the month looking back, letting go, and appreciating all I have done, a life well-lived, and all the beauty and magnificence in the world that I’ve had the opportunity to experience! I hope you enjoy traveling along the backroads with me.
These photos are from a couple different hikes in Flagstaff, Arizona last year. Mary Oliver captures my thoughts so perfectly that I’m letting her speak for me….
How I Go to the Woods
Ordinarily I go to the woods alone, with not a single friend, for they are all smilers and talkers and therefore unsuitable. I don’t really want to be witnessed talking to the catbirds or hugging the old black oak tree. I have my way of praying, as you no doubt have yours. Besides, when I am alone I can become invisible, I can sit on top of a dune as motionless as an uprise of weeds, until the foxes run by unconcerned. I can hear the almost unhearable sound of the roses singing. If you have ever gone to the woods with me, I must love you very much.
~ Mary Oliver
